12 Dos and Don'ts of French Dining Etiquette
Rather than learning the basics of French dining etiquette through trial and error, master the rules from the start and you’ll soon be eating out in France like a native!
Restaurant dining in France is never routine – it’s a gastronomic experience to be undertaken leisurely and indulgently. There are strong social mores governing French dining etiquette as well, which can often make eating out – especially with young kids – seem something of a culinary minefield.
However, there are many ways to navigate eating out in France – be it a Provençal bistro, Lyonnais bouchon or Breton crêperie – ensuring you feel confident and welcome at the table. And don’t forget that Novotel hotels are always family-friendly, going that extra mile to put you and your kids at ease in the dining room in a variety of ways.
12 rules of French dining etiquette
Here’s how to navigate the dining etiquette in France with panache. Follow these 12 unwritten – but nevertheless closely followed – rules and you’ll be treated like a local. Result: the gourmet experience of a lifetime!
- Greet the staff
Always greet restaurant staff with “bonjour” at lunchtime and “bonsoir” in the evening. You’ll get smiles all round and better service.
- Don’t wait to be seated
When you arrive at a restaurant or bar in France, there’s no need to wait for a table. With the exception of the finest of fine-dining establishments, you’re welcome to take a seat at any free table and ask for a menu.
Napkins go on laps
Put your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down – and never use it as a bib, that’s strictly for kids. At the end of the meal, place it on the table to the left of your plate.
- Don’t start eating straight away
Wait until everyone at your table has been served and only then start eating. If you are the host, say a table-wide “bon appétit” before tucking into your food.
- Dealing with the bread
Don’t cut your bread, tear it apart with your hands and eat it in small pieces. It’s acceptable to use bread to mop up any sauce, but if you want butter, you’ll have to ask.
- Ordering water
You’ll need to specify if you want tap water with your meal; otherwise you’ll be served bottled mineral water, which can come with quite a price tag.
- No elbows on tables
One of the biggest faux pas in French dining etiquette is resting your elbows on the table. Hands, however, are fine.
- The tipping issue
A mandatory service charge of 15% is now included on the bill in all French restaurants, so many diners don’t tip beyond that. If the service is spot on, perhaps leave a few euros on the table. Some card machines give the option to add a tip to your bill too.
- Don’t waste food
Asking for a doggy bag may once have caused raised eyebrows in French restaurants, but now it’s deemed acceptable to prevent food waste.
- You’ll need to ask for the bill
Serving staff want you to enjoy your meal in your own time; they won’t come and plonk the bill on your table. Please just ask for it ("l’addition, s’il vous plaît") when you’re ready to leave.
- Keep the noise down
While the French appreciate lively conversation, keep your voice down, particularly in upscale establishments. Loud behaviour is perceived as bad manners.
- Leave your phone alone
Keep your phone away from the table while eating, whether in cafés or Michelin-starred eateries. It’s rude to have a phone on the table during meals.
What to wear to a French restaurant
The issue of how to dress for dining out in France is largely a matter of common sense. It’s far more important in French dining etiquette to use proper table manners and be respectful to staff, but do follow this rough guide:
- Dress formally in suits, ties and dresses at high-end eateries.
- Reserve smart casual for bistros and brasseries; that encompasses blazers, fitted jeans or chinos, collared shirts or polo shirts, and leather shoes or dressy trainers.
- Unless you're dining near a beach, don’t go to a restaurant wearing flip-flops, shorts or skimpy tops.
French drinking etiquette
Like everything else to do with the French culinary scene, drinking in France is a well-organised social formality. The following rules will ensure you feel confident and relaxed while dining, whether in a restaurant or private home.
4 vital things to know about drinking in France
- Apéro hour
Start with an apéritif (apéro) such as pastis, kir royal (crème de cassis blackcurrant liqueur topped up with Champagne) or crémant, typically served before you start to eat. It’s designed to stimulate your appetite before lunch or dinner.
- Wine complements food
Wine is drunk with lunch or supper; it’s almost never consumed alone as it’s designed to enhance your food. Order red wine to go with pasta and meat, or white wine to pair with fish. French waiting staff will happily recommend a glass or bottle to accompany your meal.
- Post-meal digestif
Round off your meal with a digestif to help with digestion. Typically that may be cognac or calvados in a restaurant. You can always play it safe with a café noir (black coffee).
- Everything in moderation
Finally, French dining etiquette dictates that drinking is for enjoyment, not intoxication. Being visibly drunk is definitely a big social no-no.
Good to know: Saying “tchin-tchin” (cheers) is a superstitious ritual in France. Wait until everyone is seated, clink each person in turn with a full glass and always look them in the eye – failing to do so traditionally brings seven years of bad luck! Additionally, never cross your arm over someone else’s as you clink across the table.
Are kids welcome in French restaurants?
Yes, kids are generally welcomed with open arms in French restaurants, especially more informal bistros, brasseries and auberges. However, they are expected to behave, sitting quietly at the table alongside their parents. Follow these rules and you should have no problems:
5 key tips for dining with kids in France
- The best time to eat
Most people eat late in France, so restaurants get crowded after 8pm. Go for dinner early, around 6:30pm-7pm, so you can finish before the place fills up.
- Go casual rather than upmarket
Choose brasseries and bistros for relaxed dining, and in summer bag seats on outdoor terraces, where diners are generally more tolerant of noise.
- Kids’ options
If a restaurant doesn’t have a kids’ menu, it’s fine to ask for a half-portion of a dish for your youngsters.
- Table etiquette
Children are expected to be well-behaved in public, so it’s best to step outside if your offspring throws a tantrum.
- Bring a distraction
As a rule, French restaurants do not provide toys, puzzles, crayons and paper for distractions. Bring your own to keep little minds occupied.
Are Novotel restaurants kid-friendly?
As part of our Longevity Everyday mission, we know healthy families are happy families, so we provide wholesome, balanced kids’ meals in all our family-friendly restaurants in France. We have also partnered with British food creator and Insta-star Alfie Steiner, who is launching plant-forward recipes on Novotel menus – and ones that can easily be recreated at home.
If you’re travelling with small children, you can also borrow highchairs, booster seats, cutlery, bibs and baby plates in all our restaurants, and as we know that kids can’t always be tied down to a schedule, many of our hotels serve food throughout the day.
Now we’ve armed you with the tools to deal with French dining etiquette, perhaps you’d like to know more about eating well on holiday or learn what makes our hotels so family-friendly.
French dining etiquette is strictly adhered to; follow simple rules like always greeting the serving staff to fit seamlessly into the country’s restaurant culture. There are strict protocols around drinking too; never drink too much and only drink wine at mealtimes. Kids are very welcome in French restaurants, but it's advisable to stick to the informal end of the market rather than upscale fine-dining experiences. For family-friendly hotel dining, all Novotel restaurants cater for kids.
